Forgiveness

This morning, I was reading Scriptures regarding forgiveness. This is not really an issue I struggle with between me and God-I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God has forgiven me of all of my sins (I don't understand how or why, but that is a later discussion). And really,I don't struggle much anymore with forgiving others. I used to be very unforgiving and in the eyes of the world, I had a reason to be that way. However, there are so many Scriptures that point out I need to forgive others like I have been forgiven or that how I forgive others is how I will be forgiven (Eph 4:32, Matthew 6:14, Matthew 7:1-5, Luke 6:37-not a comprehensive list, just a few I found this morning). Here are the two things I am struggling with when it comes to forgiveness.

How can I help my children understand that they are forgiven, but they still have consequences. I know there are tons of people in the Bible who this is true for (David, Peter, Paul, etc) and I can see it in my own life. But for a teenager who is so stuck in the here and now and so focused on feelings, that is hard to understand. And I remember being a teeanager well enough to know that is a hard concept to grasp. I just don't remember how the adults in my life reconciled the two for me or if that just comes with maturity and growth. One of the things I find most difficult in parenting these children is not bringing up past negative. Lets say that I have a girl who enjoys writing on the wall. The first few times she writes on the wall, she may just have to clean the wall. However, after the second or third time, the consequence for writing on the wall is going to be harsher than before, right? Well, how do I teach forgiveness and grace, when I have to make the consequences harder for repeated negative behavior? When I have had repeated sin in my life, I can remember sometimes that the consequences were worse than before, but there are other times that was not the case.

The other issue on forgiveness that I am struggling with is for my girls. All of the girls in my house have made a serious committment to following Christ. And yet, they find it very difficult to forgive each other for the littlest things-the radio is too loud, she looked at me funny, she always... We have numerous discussions on how much forgiveness they have received from Christ and yet we cannot seem to get them to extend even the smallest bit of forgiveness to each other or us.

There is a part of me that thinks if I can get the first ssue dealt with right, the second issue will resolve itself.

One more comment on forgiveness and then I am done. In all the Scriptures I read this morning, I never once found one about forgiving yourself for something, yet this is a message that I was given numerous times while growing up and one I have talked about as well. I wonder where we came up with this idea that we were supposed to forgive ourselves? It occurs to me that maybe this is not a Biblical belief. One reason that leads me to believe this is because Scripture tells us "...we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. "
(Heb 4:15 NRSV) If what the Hebrews writer says is true, then this struggle to "forgive ourselves" is not reasonable. If Christ was tested in everyway that we are and He is sinless, what did He have to forgive Himself for? It seems to me that maybe we in the church have let the secular world cloud our thoughts on this.

Okay, I said I would be done so I will stop. I would love to hear some dialouge, advice, complaints and agreements on these issues. More later!