Do you ever wonder how God puts up with us? Do you ever consider how He is capable of contuing to love us, pour out His grace on us and want a relationship with us?
This has been one of the longest weeks of my life. As I stated in a previous post, Monday was the worst day of houseparenting I have ever had (and I pray earnestly that it stays that way). As I also stated previously, I cannot really discuss the situation in detail. That being said a decision one of my kids made has truly destroyed much of our relationship with her. It is very difficult to interact with her and not feel crushed. The situation has weighed heavily on my heart all week. I have shed many tears over it, lost many hours of sleep over it and my heart has begun to grow callous towards houseparenting in general because of it.
This decision has affected the other kids in my house in a profound way as well. One of the biggest challenges in handling the situation is showing our other kids how to continue to love this one child as Christ does while still 1)having all the negative, hurtful feelings I have and 2) imposing natural and logical consequences on this young lady that will help her not make the same mistake again. This is very difficult and the prayer I have begun to pray is that when all eight of our kids look back on this situation they will be able to see they saw God's heart in it from me and Jason.
And that brings me back to my first questions. How does He do it? Seriously. God does not rate sin like I do. Any sin, whether lying, murder, lust, adultery, stealing, gluttony, or becoming drunk (all of which I have committed in one fashion or another) all put us outside of His presence. And yet, He never closes the bridge that allows us back in. His heart does not turn to callous towards me like mine has calloused this week. He still desires a relationship with me and if given the chance or if there was a need, He would still send His Son to fix the situation again.
I want to be like for my kid. I want to be like that for my husband. I want to be like for my friends and enemies. I want to be like for myself.
2 comments:
I have no words, but I did want to tell you how much I appreciate you opening your heart like this.
I am proud of you. Our friendship has only endured over the years because of our mutual love for Christ Jesus and because I see Him in you. I love you.
Thanks, Amy. I agree, there is no reason that our friendship should have lasted over the past years of change and separation. I love you, too.
Post a Comment