My great aunt

My Aunt Jeanette has had a strong influence on my life.

She and my uncle were childless and doted on her siblings children and grandchildren as if they and we were their own. It was always a great treat to go to their house and hang out with her and Uncle Bill.

My aunt was at every Christmas we spent in Kentucky. She was at many that we spent at home in Austin. She was at many New Years Eve Parties. She always sent me a birthday card.

My Aunt Jeanette was present when I was baptized. She told me that day that I made smartest decision of my life and every decision I made from then should be made with this event ever present.

After my uncle Bill died about fifteen years ago, she and my grandmother (already a widow for sixteen years or so) began traveling on a regular basis. First they followed my cousin as he raced four wheelers. We attended one race with them and the looks people gave them were down right hysterical. These two gray haired women yelled louder and harder than most of the fans combined. Always the dedicated Kentucky Wildcat fan, they soon began following the basketball team to tournament games. Again, these two ladies put more energy into cheering for their team than all those around.

Actually, my Aunt Jeanette is one of the reasons I ended up marrying Jason. Jason and I had been dating about two months when I flew to Nashville with the basketball team for a tournament. My grandmother and Aunt Jeanette picked me up and hung out with me. We went to dinner and the next day we went shopping. I told them a little bit about Jason and we spent the shopping day looking for a Christmas present for him. If I am not mistaken, we ended up finding him a belt buckle with the letter "J" on it. Before I went back to Oklahoma, Aunt Jeanette said "You treat him right now you hear. You will marry this man." I think Aunt Jeanette liked Jason then but fell in love with Jason after meeting him in San Antonio, Texas at the Final Four. Kentucky was in it, so my grandmother and Aunt made the trip. Jason was very brave and had to meet all of my family for the first time that trip and many, many times, I would catch Aunt Jeanette watching the two of us, a huge smile on her face. Before we left to return to OKC, Aunt Jeanette pulled me aside again and assured me that I had found my mate for life. Years later, when Jason and I got married, Aunt Jeanette was extremely happy for us. Her blessing: "I hope you and Jason find as much joy, fun and happiness in your marriage as your Uncle Bill and I did in ours." It is that blessing that I have sought after in my marriage and it is that blessing that I have passed on to numerous friends.

Late in life, Aunt Jeanette started painting. She was truly amazing and it took us years to convince her that people would actually pay money for her work. The first time Jason visited my family in Kentucky, he walked out of Aunt Jeanette's house with a mountain cabin scene she just happened to have laying on her bed. Our wedding gift from her is a beautiful painting of a snowy mountain scene, with a small village in the background and a wolf in the foreground. She painted it specifically for me and Jason. It hangs above our bed and I have always been very proud to show it off (if you have ever been to my house, you will know this).

My great aunt Jeanette is currently laying in a hospital bed, breathing with the aid of a respirator. She has diabetes. She recently started dialysis. She has had (at least) three heart attacks. She has been in and out of the hospital more times than I know of in the past two years. She is dying and I am okay with that, sort of. I am okay with that for her because she will go home to be with our Father and see her husband, Bill, who has been gone for over 16 years now. I am okay with that because I don't want her to suffer anymore. I am okay with that because I understand that someday, I will get to see her again and she will be the vibrant, joyful, beautiful, amazing woman I remember as I was growing up.

I am not okay with her dying because she is leaving us behind. I am not okay with her dying because grandmother's best friend is dying and I hurt for my grandmother's loss. I am not okay with it because it will be very painful for her brother, Sonny, my mom, my uncle Steve, my aunt Lori, my aunt Lisa, my sister, Lockie and my cousins, Brent, Candice, and Chris.

As I look back over my 32 years, Aunt Jeanette was there for many more events than I have shared here. It is unbelievable to me that she was such a constant presence in my life since I have never lived closer than 9 hours away and at times as far as 28 hours away from where she lived all my life.

I know and believe fully that death for the follower of Christ is not a tragedy but a victory. And for those of us left behind, the separation is only temporary. I am at peace in knowing that Aunt Jeanette will be added to my cloud of witness. I am still in pain.