Accepting No As An Answer

Our first year in houseparenting world we were introduced to "The Skills Book." This was a great resource we used often throughout our time as houseparents and actually still have a copy of today. It takes concepts and breaks them down to step by step, easy to follow, easy to remember instructions. Things like "Following instructions", "Setting Boundaries", "Answering the Phone", and "Completing a Task"- just to name a few. For many of our kids it provided a necessary, healthy way of handling situations that they previously did not know how to handle.

One skill that is currently coming to mind for me right now is "Accepting No As An Answer." In theory and step by step instructions, it is a very simple skill.

1. Look at the person.


2. Say "okay."


3. Stay calm.


4. If you disagree, ask later.

See what I mean, simple and easy to remember.

And yet as I sit here having to accept "no" as answer it is not that simple. I have said "okay" in the professional manner. I am staying calm in a professional manner. I disagree with decision but my disagreeing will not change the answer at all and I know that later I will be given a reason for the "no" answer I received.

It is not easy or simple. What I want to do is rebel. What I want do is yell and scream and point out all the reason it should have been a "yes" instead of a "no."

The fact is "no" is not an easy answer to accept. "No" is discouraging when the reason behind it has to do with quality of work performed. "No" is confusing when it contradicts other messages given. "No" is hard to handle when there are plenty of reasons that "yes" should have been answer. "No" hurts when the reason behind the it may have to do with character flaws. "No" is especially frustrating when your best isn't enough to get a "yes."

And so I am having to repeat the skill of "accepting no as an answer" to myself. It is a good thing to practice though I am not much on being so well practiced at this skill.

And of course, I am reminding myself of many of the promises my Father has given me - I am valuable because of Whose I am. I am loved by the Maker of the Universe. I have access to life to full and the Kingdom of Christ because He provided that way for me. I have the greatest Comforter ever. And I have power of the Satan who will not turn this "no" into a victory for himself because he has already been defeated.