Leaving

Maybe this is just a problem we face with our kids, I don't know. But it is so frustrating. Once again, we are stuck in the frustrating and horrible situation that one of our kids has decided that she is leaving on a negative note. SM has been in our house since we arrived here, two years ago this month. She is one of the longest term residents on campus. She got her first job about a month before school ended. We almost instantly saw something different in her. We attempted numerous times to get her to talk to us but we only got back a fakeness that she wouldn't allow us past. Eventaully, the choices that she was making caught up with her and when we found them out, she forced our hand. She was required to quit her job and she put on some restrictions. I won't bore you with the details of the choices, but do know they weren't as bad as they could have been. Not two days after we have a discussion with her regarding the situation, Jason and I left on vacation. Within in the next day or two, she made the decision she was leaving. She contaced her caseworker and according to everything we are hearing, the caseworker is going to move her. This did not come as a surprise to me or Jason, though I am very sad and frustrated about it. The plans are apparently supposed to be finalized today, though I am not sure how much truth there is to that since that came from other residents, not a co-worker.

Like I said before, I am not sure if this is just kids in care or if it is this generation of kids, but I don't understand where they get the message they don't have to face the consequences of the choices they made. SM knew how we would react when she made the choices she did. When we had our discussion with her, she was not surprised or shocked that we reacted like we did. And she even admitts that she thought it was going to be worse than it was. However, rather than tough it out, feel the pain of the consequences now, she is going to walk away from it all. She is trying to go about it "right" rather than just running away, but I think, at this point, she is willing to do that as well.

I know Satan is playing games with me and I am trying hard to fight them. Right now, it is the doubt game more than anything: Did we do enough? Could we have done something different? Did we overreact? What message are my other kids getting in all this? Man, he does this amazing job of getting inside my head.

Please pray for SM. And pray for me and Jason. I would love to give you a specific prayer to say, but I don't know what I think that should be. All I do know is that the pain in my heart is deep as I feel like we have lost yet another battle in this great war.