Being held through Satan's temptations

At church, in our class, we are discussing what our missionary purpose is. While Jason and I have no doubt that we are following God's plan for our lives right now, I am trying to formulate a "mission statement." You might think that after following that mission for six years now, I would have a good idea as to what that mission statement should look like. However, you would be wrong. I only seem to have a very vague notion and that is really sort frustrating on some levels. What I really need to do is spend some time in prayer/journaling with God. I could list the many reasons I have not done that yet but they are all just lame, selfish excuses that sound pretty petty and very self centered so I will keep those to myself. However, I will publically confess that I am in a very selfish mood right now and I am really having to fight hourly to stay out of it, though there are plenty of hours the battle is lost. But God is so very gracious and is continuing to hold me firmly in grasp. And for that I praise Him.

One of the ways God is showing me His patience, faithful and wisdon is by having two songs play almost non stop in my head. The first song, by Horation Spafford , is It Is Well With My Soul. Growing up, I always sang only three verses to that song. Well, apparently, there are two or three more verses. It is Spafford's second verse that has really taken a hold of me and makes the song so much more powerful and congruent. The other song, You Never Let Go, written by Matt Redman, has been speaking peace, truth and freedom to me since March. While there are times that I find this continous play track annoying, I am truly greatful that He is so kind as to put these songs in my head. There have been plenty times when I have wanted to be very selfish that one of these songs has popped into my mind and I have been able to make a different choice. Along the same line, there have been plenty times when I have made that selfish decision and I am feeling worthless, wretched and weak that one of these songs has broken through the walls that I erected and given me peace in knowing that I am secured in His hands.

I am so luck to serve a mighty, wonderful, faithful, patient and loving God.