The Holidays

There was a time that I loved the holidays. We would watch UT football and gear up for decorating. Mom would sometimes be a little busier than normal, but it was fun. Decorating they Hyatt, the mall, the house-it was great! I remember walking the floors of Dillards as "Jingle Bear" or his escort and drinking vanilla cokes from the food court. Or better yet, I remember playing in the snow in Kentucky, chopping our own Christmas tree, seeing all the family that lived up there, having my uncle spit his teeth out at me and teach me solitare games, playing with my cousins and eating until I was ready to pop then eating some more. I really loved the Holidays! However, that all changed in 2002 when Jason and I started houseparenting. My first negative expeirence was cooking for the boys in our home at the time. I cooked for 2 days and then some. We had 10 boys, 2 staff and a few other people come over for a total of something like 18 people. I cooked enough food to feed an army and they demolished it all in less than 30 minutes. It was the only Thanksgiving I can remember NOT having leftovers. That seems petty now because I know that the holidays are horrible for kids in care. They are supposed to be with family and yet their not. This makes them lonely, sad, mad and angry. Then because they are supposed to be feeling joy and thanksgiving during this time they feel bad for feeling all the negative stuff. So they go round and round in this cycle of out of control emotions. Add to that their inablity to feel like they can connect with other kids who are with their families and it intensifies all those feelings. In many situations, like ours right now, some of the kids in care actually do get some time with their families during the holiday, but for those left behind, it reminds them, once again, that they are not wanted or needed by their families (at least that is usually their thoughts, not the truth). People are usually very generous to kids in care, so the material blessing of Christmas are usually better than anything I ever had. But if you ask these kids, they would sacrifice all the presents that people give to spend just that one special day with their family. Don't get me wrong, they are appreciative of the gifts and look forward to seeing what they will get just like most kids. But it does not fulfill the longing they have year that is now brought to the surface. During the holidays, their families don't look as bad as they really are, the place where they are living looks worse than ever, and they feel more depressive feelings than any other time of the year. There is a big part of me that wants to go to sleep sometime in October and stay that way until January 5 (when we would all wake up and the kids would go back to school the next day). But that does not happen, so we are given the strength from the Father above to show these kids what the holidays can be about when family isn't around. I miss the times when the holidays were nothing but a joyous occasion, but what a better mission than to show them the love of our Lord during this extremely difficult time. Please pray for us and our girls that we make it through another holiday season joyfully.